WITH LOVE AND DAISIES

SUCH A PRECIOUS AND SPECIAL HAND FEELING BLUE !!!! Today I'm feeling really down for no particular reason. It's sad to say but I think I still have a yearing for a girl in our family. Don't get me wrong. I love my 4 boys like nothing else. To much sometimes I think but for a sily reason I wonder if I will ever feel complete. I wonder if it is because I never had the time to enjoy my boys until now. Chayse had colic and was flown straight to Royal Childens as a baby having fitting episodes. To this day they still don't know why. He does have learning difficulties though and has an aid at school. With Brodie we were building out new house and moved in with my brother in law for 9 months. He was only 2 months old when this happened. Then Logan came along and his first year was a blur. We practically lived at the Royal Childrens (4 hours away from home). He was born with Hirschsprungs disease (his bowel didn't work). He got so sick at one stage we were told we could loose him. They had him on 7 antibiotics and had to put a line straight to his heart. They had used every other vein they could, even in his head. We did a year of bowel dilations (very messy) and eventually he had a colostomy bag put on. He has now had part of his bowel cut out so they could attatch the part that worked. He has had a lot of trouble. He went to the other extreme and would use his bowel on average 13 times a day. I can't explain the mess to you in words. He would scream because his bottom would bleed as it was so sore. The feceus would burn his skin becasue he wasn't used to it. After a lot of intervention work with him we have now found out he has mild Autism as well. My poor boy just gets everything. Parker was born with Symbracydactyl Syndrome. He basically has no bones in three fingers and they are shorter than a normal little finger. Theytwist around and bend backwards and he cries about his nails as they grow pointing facing up to the roof. If I don't cut them often they break off back in his skin. We were booked in to have his toe bones put in as a weight but X-rays showed his hand hadn't grown enough to leave room for the bones. He drops cups and other things but he manages. I think now that I have 2 at school I think I've managed all this I could take on another baby. I just feel that now I have the time to enjoy this one. I would have loved it but reality is I'm 35 and didn't want 5 kids. That tells me it's just a yearning for a girl. Hopefully my boys will get beautiful wives that I can have in my life in years to come. !!!! Love and daisies Kristen