COMPLETELY MAD

Hi all lots has been happening as always. I'm sure you all know what it's like. I'm sitting back having a glass of red wondering if I've gone completely mad. I will have 6 boys in my house tomorrow night. It's Chayses 9th birthday. He's having 10 friends over for a few hours and 2 are staying the night. Yep mad !! Hopefully photos will follow but I've just got my new fan dangled computer and it's going to take me a while to get everything transferred over, especially while the boys are on school holidays. Thought I'd put this link up of the boys when they were in the Herald Sun Newspaper promoting the Childrens Hospital. Once you are on this page look over on the right at the stories. We are under the heading Hospital part of the Family. Click on it to check it out. http://www.goodfridayappeal.com.au/default.aspx?s=newsdisplay&id=6669

ONE FOR THE MUMS XX

Before I was a Mom, I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom, I had never been puked on. Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom, I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests. Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom, I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much . I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom, I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom, I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,

before I was a Mom .

XXXX (LOVE YOU BIGGER THAN THE WORLD)

CUDDLE THEM EXTRA TIGHT

Pirate Parker "love you bigger than the world" xx

Another reason to hold our precious children close today. I've been following this blog for some time now and they really captured my heart. My thoughts are with you all on the loss of precious Kayleigh. Fly high baby girl XXX

http://www.kayleighannefreeman.blogspot.com/

HOLIDAYS !!! Well I know it's been forever since I've blogged but 4 boys don't allow much time out for mum unfortunately. It's not half way through the school holidays and I am surviving ....just. I've found it's easier to have an outing or day planned as such than to try to have a day at home. When boys are busy they aint wrestling. I can't complain to much I guess as we have recently been to QLD for 5 glorious nights. Took the kids out of school and it was the best thing ever. No long cues to get into the theme parks and the kids found it very educational. While we we there we went to Sea World to see the new dolphin named "CHAYSE" (remember my Chayse won a comp to name the dolphin). Kids had a great day as did mum and dad. Mind you this is the first real holiday we've had in over 9 years. Yes owning your own business isn't all that great!!. We've had weekends away but never really more than that so this was blissful. It's actually made Corey realise that work can survive without him and he's already saying we should start to get away more. YIPEEE no complaint here. The photo attached is of Chayse with dolphins Moki, Chayse and Evie. (more to follow soon I promise). Love and daisys to you all I have been following you and theres so much happening (babies, babies and more babies etc) XX

SO VERY SAD

VICTORIA: The state I live in, The worst Australian Catastrophe happened here this past weekend. Over 100 lives lost so far and that's just what they've found in the cars of people trying to escape. Whole towns wiped off the face of the earth from fierce bushfires (dozens of them). It's been a record breaking time here in Swan Hill alone. Two weeks of record breaking heat not going under 40 degrees. NO relief. Sifting through the homes hasn't even begun because our state is still burning. So sad watching families look for their missing loved ones. A dad searching for his wife and three kids. We know they are gone he doesn't want to believe it and still searches. HEART WRENCHING no more words today only thoughts about how grateful I am to be here. Please take time to click on this link and remember how precious life is as you view these gut wrenching photos.Photo 27 gives me chills. Which way do you run. As I'm still learning how to add links please click your curser over these last three words (FVI) to view it. Fatal Victorian inferno

Heaven Help Me

Oh Heaven Help Me He's 3 not 23.....and this is what he was found sitting down to read (sorry study intently) the other night.

It's not unusual for Corey to lay down on the floor each night and read the daily newspaper. This particular night I watch Master Parker go and pick up the paper from the night before and flick through it to find one particular page. He walked over to the couch sat with it on his lap and looked at it for the longest time. In the end it got the better of me so I go to investigate only to be told by Parker "hhmm that one" as he pointed to a girl in a bikini. Firstly I was shocked that this had even been printed in a newspaper as 2008 hottest bodies but for him to pick that page out of all the ones there. Bizare. All I could do was laugh and get his dad to come and see. Now where would a 3 year old learn how to select which girl was the hottest??? What am I in for raising 4 boys?? So please add your name to "follow my blog". Yes I finally got around to doing it and do love comments so much. Besides I think I am going to be needing a lot of super advice with little males and their thinking.....heaven help us all.

Happy Birthday Daddy I want to say thanks for being the best dad to our boys.You are always only to willing to teach them everything they want to learn and know. I think it says it all that you are taking tomorrow morning off work (your birthday) to take the boys to giggle and bounce for a few hours to give me a break. Love you bigger than the world Mwwaahh. XXX

Happy New Year to you, Happy Birthday tooooo meeee

Yes it's New Years Eve 2008. Doesn't time fly. Just wanting to wish all my fabulous friends out there a healthy and happy 2009. I hope it is a good year for all. I've enjoyed '08 as I met up with all of you. Hopefully many more years of blogging is to follow. So take care all and party hard on New Years Eve. I myself am looking forward to tonight as I have my best friend Vikki home with her lovely family of 4 boys. Our kids play so well together so we will enjoy a not so quiet BBQ here on this not so warm New Years Eve. As for tomorrow it's my birthday. Yes I got the dreaded 1st Jan. birthday. I can't even go out for a meal on that day as nothing is opened and no one can be bothered doing anything as we are all to exhausted from the night before. It's a great date for a birthday so I guess I'II have to make the most of tonight. Love to all Kristen XX

signing off in 08 with my last few pictures of Chayse & Brodie after running around in the sprinklers.

Can you tell ??

Yes that's right the boys received their letters from Santa. Super excitement through the house would be an understatement. Must admit this year was different for Chayse as some lovely boys at school told him that it's his mum and dad that bring the presants, not Santa. He held back tears while asking me about it late on Sunday night. He must have stewed over it all weekend but finally got the courage to ask me if him and I could have a private chat. We made a deal that if he kept the secret from his brothers he was grown up enough to receive an extra gift. He's done such a great job at hiding it . Really proud of him. Anyway here are photos as promised of my boys doing the "happy dance" all along to Logan chanting "oh yeaha, ahh haa, ohh yeaha, ahh haa"

I WON.....NOW MY BABY IS A DOLPHIN

Many months ago I entered a competition and completely forgot about it, until today. Today I got a phone call from Warner Brothers Movieworld asking me how I came up with my entry name. You had to name Seaworlds new baby dolphin. It was on the internet and I'd come across it while booking flights for our March family holiday. I WON !!!! out of thousands and thousands of names suggested.

I rushed to tell Chayse who was home sick in bed about this baby dolphin that was now the owner of the name "Chayse". Yes I put down my sons name. He was thrilled as were his Brothers when he told them. We won free family entry to the theme park and a special closed tour of dolphin cove to meet all the dolphins and have photos taken with the new little swimmer "Chayse".

Sooo excited for the kids as we've booked to go to Queensland for a week and do the theme parks. Of course the boys don't know yet as they'd drive me crazy waiting and counting down. So they now know tickets are on their way here for when mum and dad think they're grown up enough to fly over to see dolphin Chayse. Great bribery materail to be good in March I think.

Well Xmas is nearly here so I bought myself a pair of "I love Billy" shoes. I seem to be buying myself a gift every Xmas of late. Oh well whats a girl to do when she has all boys. I have to buy something girly for someone so it may as well be me.

Yes we are still around. Very busy as I'm sure you all are too. Don't you just love Xmas. I know I do. I love watching the excitement building in the boys. They received their letters from Santa the other night and it was pure joy watching their amazing expressions as they read what he had to say. I will post photos soon (promise). For now here is our Xmas card to all of you and your families. It wasn't without drama as Brodie fell off his bike just before having these taken and had to have 5 stitches in his leg. He was hysterical but my gorgeous friend Cassie still managed to get a great photo of the six of us. Mine you Brodie refers to himself as accidental Brodie as last Xmas he'd just broken his arm. OHH boys ... so Merry Chrissie to all you lovely people. Looking forward to being in touch through 2009.

click to enlarge photos

13 GREAT YEARS Yes Dani i am back. Life is sooo busy aint it. What's been happening. Well Corey and I celebrated 13 blissful years of marriage. Wow how time flies. We'd been together for 6 years before we were married so it seems like forever. Still happy to report that things are going just as smoothly as back then. I do think having kids with their everyday dramas makes you appreciate life and each other more. We decided to take the boys out for tea last night and were having a nice time until all of a sudden Parker threw up, YES threw up all over the table!!. OMG talk about embarrassing. It was out of the blue and gastro has been going around like wildfire. So thankful to the girl sitting behind us with the napkins but did notice they'd moved to another area to chat as we were leaving. We all know what kid spew can smell like don't we. HOW EMBARRASSING. We quickly let the boys eat as their meals were now ready while I cleaned up Parker. Luckily we left when we did as he did it again when we got to the car. My poor boy dry reached every half hour until 4 am. Such a good boy he grabbed the bowl everytime and said :I sick mummy, rub my back" Corey is on the couch today unwell so I'm hoping I don't end up with it to. Below are a few quick snaps of last night just because we haven't done it for a while. Also Happy Birthday Emma !!

YOU MAKE MY DAY Many many weeks ago my hair dresser sister in law cut my below the shoulder hair into an easy to manage short cut. The boys haven't said too much until today. Well I'm taking todays comment for the hair because I can't think what else it could possibly be about. Every morning while I'm doing my hair and make-up etc Brodie jumps into my bed, school uniform on and just watches. This morning I noticed he was really studying me when he said "mumma bear (as he affectionately calls me), can I ask you a question" pause *gasp* ahh "sure Brodie what is it" "WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE A TEENAGER?' *sigh* You know just the right things to say Brodie bear. Even if I am 35 going on 18 I'II take it.

Ohh how tired do I look uughghh

Part Angel, part devil

Love you bigger than the world. mmaahh xxx

LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU Yes Corey and I have found ourselves to be the entertainers when it comes to watching the Grand Final for Aussie Rules. This year we had 7 families here for the day. We did it last year and they kind of all invited themselves back for this year. Most of our circle of friends live in town whereas we have no neighbours and acres for the kids to run around on. It was a good day with too much wine and a great tea to top it off. Everyone pitches in and brings a salad or dessert and we cook up a BBQ. With each family having 3 or 4 kids there were plenty here. The weather was beautiful on 34 although with the wind and the heat the kids were exhausted running all day. It didn't end here till 1 in the morning with all the guys. I think I snuck off to bed at 11 and still paid for it the next day. (actually yesterday was a bit of a weary day to I must admit). Corey still can't figure out how the 5 guys left managed to finish off all that scotch!! Below are some photos of Chayse with his beloved Sascha doing what I felt like all day, lazing around...

Well the boys have enjoyed the holidays so we are all happy. I was dreading them thinking 2 weeks with 4 boys HHMM. I've found that holidays can either be hard work with winging kids that are bored or fun if you schedule something every day. Nothing big or expensive mind you. Like yesterday by about 3 o'clock they were just starting to get to each other so we jumped in the car and headed to the park for a play. Grabbed them an ice-cream on the way home and the mood was very uplifted when they got home.

Today I needed a day at home to catch up on all those dreaded chores. We played a game of soccer in the sun and they are now all having a turn on the X-box. They think this is great as it usually only goes on every now and them on a weekend. Tomorrow we are meeting my mum for lunch and a day out. HHmm only Thursday and Friday to get through and Friday is show day here so we should be set. Yes I can survive 2 weeks home with a house full of boys, although one day last week Chayse and Brodie each had a friend come over for the day. 6 boys!! How will I ever survive when they all want one each and I have 8 ????????

Bestest day ever Well on a normal Wednesday when the boys are at school I run around and do the groceries, pay the bills and basically get some shopping done. It's my one day to myself as Parker is in creche at ABC learning that day. Logan has kinder in the morning but the afternoon is his time with me until I pick Chayse and Brodie up from school. I did that with them when they were doing the kinder year. We shop then go out for afternoon tea etc. Just one on one time. Being school holidays now I try to make Wed. a day when we can all go out and do something. Today the boys took their pocket money and shopped. They only had $20 each so it was an interesting learning curve for them about what things cost. They browsed for a long time and couldn't decide but were most happy when they paid for their items. We had lunch at the Carriages (an old train done up as a restaurant) and just enjoyed the day together. My mum came with us. I was most impressed that they all used their manners. When the boys were going to bed last night Chayse and Brodie said it was the bestest day they've ever had. I'm really beginning to enjoy going out with them more now they are getting older. They are so much easier. Having my baby be three is also making things better. We still do have the odd tantrum but over all it's better now that I'm over the baby stage trying to manage 3 other boys. Another 12 months and I might be able to get the four of them on the plane to Queensland. If they'd sit still long enough!!!

Four happy boys. They bought Parker a spiderman toy which much to my delight woke me up at 6.30 this morning smoothering me in kisses. MWAA MWAA (thanks for that Parker)

Chayse and Brodie had footy dress up day on the last day of term. Of course Logan had to get out his long socks and came out of his room like this. Socks over his Pjs. When he did go to get dressed he put on his boxer shorts with them to be like the boys.

WISHY WASHY DAZE Well the past few weeks have been exhausting to say the least. I'm well and got over my surgery but sit here tonight in a daze of tiredness. Chayse woke Sunday morning complaning about headaches and sore eyes. Eventually Corey carried him into the emergency department and he was admitted to go on the drip and flush his body with antibiotics. He has had meningitis apparently and was released yesterday from hospital. I stayed the night with him and got absolutely no sleep. The alarm for his drip went off every hour and had to be topped up for the next 60mls of meds. Talk about annoying!!! 1am, 2am ,3am etc etc. I woke each hour as the nurse came in. It was like a torture system. Anyway he's back at school today running around fit as a fiddle. I really think as sick as he was he enjoyed the one on one time with mum. He kept reaching out to hold my hand all night saying "thanks for staying with me". Today he told me he enjoyed it just being us. So hard when you have 4 kids to give quality time to. So for my wishy washy day (brain wise I think as it's not functioning yet) I've added my favorite pic of Parker and more of him doing his favorite job in the house. The washing (watching it go "round and round" mind you) He is obsessed.

HAPPY FATHERS DAY Happiest of Fathers day to you my Corey. I know you don't go for all this being spoilt stuff but I still know you enjoyed being with your boys for the day. A wonderful one we had to. Sitting at the river watching the boys ride around and sitting around the fire toasting marshmellows. You are the type of dad that doesn't want any fuss and still insisted on cooking for us as you always do on Sundays. Pampered is what we are with you. The boys eargerly wait for you to come home every night to kick the footy and every weekend you want to take them somewhere or do something with them. Even a drive to the tip is fun for them because they are with you. Thanks for being the best dad a kid could ever want. Fun, Active, Generous, and most of all There. We are not complete until you are here with us. Love you heaps. Happy Fathers Day . And Corey "ditto"

BENIGN { ONE WORD, SO SIMPLE, SOOOO HAPPY } That one word says it all. My results say "no malignancy found 100% benign growth" I was told by my local doctor when I had my stitches out. Haven't spoken to my surgeon yet and don't see him for 2 weeks but don't care. I'm sooooo happy, sooooo relieved and really going to enjoy life more now. Funny how a scare does that to you. My doctor thinks they will just leave the cyst now as they have drained it so I could keep my ovary and hopefully it won't come back. Benign! Wow as I said before how lucky am I. I didn't tell you but I was wheeled into the theatre at 9.10 in the morning thinking at least I will be done quick and don't have to sit around.Well they put in in the room just outside the theatre and we waited. And waited and each nurse that waited with me said I don't know what the hold up is. Won't be long I told myself. HMM At 11.15 the next patient gets wheeled in next to me. We'd been chatting earlier while we got signed in.Geez you look great she said. "I haven't been in yet I said" Well she nearly died. I finally went in at 11.50 with lots of time to look at that white painted wall, trying not to be cold sitting there looking glorious with with leg warmers wrapped around each leg pumping up and down to keep the circulation going. I have never done so much thinking by myself those few hours . I told myself how I was really going to enjoy things more, especially my boys and take more time for myself. And that's what I'm going to do. I feel fantastic today and life is great. Hope your day is as good as mine (smiles)

OHH HOW I'VE MISSED YOU SO {make that ouch} Yes I am still here. For days now I've been longing to get on here and read what you've all been up to. Can't believe how much I missed you all. The last two days that was my mission but I just couldn't get up, so sore, so VERY sore. Well they couldn't take the growth without taking the whole ovary as it was to complicated. So I've been told while I was high as a kite on morphine, falling asleep then asking another question. Apparently they've taken a biopsy of it which will take about 14 days for results. I have to see the surgeon again in a month to see what happens next. I'm so hopping it's nothing and it can be left inside the ovary without bother. Just don't want to have to go through this again and I know my doctor definitely didn't want to take my ovary out if he didn't have to, being that I only have one. For all of you who've had stomach surgery you know what I'm talking about when I say I feel 9 months prego. My tummy is so blow up with all that gas so they can look at what they need to. Bother them!! Oh the pain of it all!!!! Anyway thank you so much for all you comments left. They really do brighten up a day, even on a good one. The boys have been great this past week. No fights or wrestles or anything. I've come to the conclusion that it's because I'm sitting around just being with them instead of rushing through the next job we have to tackle. It has been nice to sit back and have longer than usual to chat with each of them. Chayse keeps comming over and massaging my hair, Brodie is very concerned about my dressings etc telling me to call him when they need changing, Logan likes to snuggle with me getting his pillow and blanket out to keep me company and Parker is Parker always by my side or right behind. He's been very entertaining dancing for me as you'll see below. My mum has been a god sent being here all week to pick the boys up from school etc and just keep me company and that wonderful hubby of mine runs on energizer batteries never getting tired. He leaves at 5.30 in the morning then comes in at 7.15 to get the kids up and ready for school before going back to his busy day at 9. So lucky am I... Wonderful parents, wonderful friends (who send THE most beautiful flowers), wonderful boys and wonderful hubby (who right now has all the boys at Giggle and Bounce Playcentre so I have time to rest)............... WHO can rest when there's blogging to catch up on though!!!!!!!!!!! Love to all, hope this finds you and yours all well and that you are all having a chilaxing day. (relaxing and chilling out)

THE BUTTERFLIES ARE A FLOATIN'...

You know that awful feeling you get when you know something is comming up and you try to put it out of your mind. I've been like that for several weeks now but the date is nearing and so are those damn butterflies of nerves.

Aug. 26th, this time in one week I will be on the operating table. Just the thought of another op annoys me. I have a 4cm growth in my left ovary. Funny I should be classing it as left or right because I don't have a right one. I had to have that one removed many years ago with a cyst the size of a small orange.

I've since had my left ovary anchored down as it kept twisting around causing me great pain. It was hoped that when they stitched it on either side it would be fine. I'm told this is common after years of IVF but question it as my other cyst was before we started with all that. Anyway this 4cm growth isn't just fluid filled it has a tissue of some type in it so must be investigated further. They will try to disect it from the ovary and remove it first but if not possible the whole ovary will be taken. I feel far to young to have to start hormone replacements but will have no choice if it comes to that. Perhaps it's for the best with the trouble these ovaries give me. Between me and the boys we've seen our fair share of operating theaters so this had better be the end of it.

I guess the nerves are just getting to me today hoping the tissue is nothing bad. Feeling rather run down with a cold and just need to get on top of it all so the op can go ahead. Another early night would be good if only I could sleep!!

{A LITTLE BIT OF HAPPY} I have a wall in my home that is my all time favorite. I think because it has us all together. The top row of photos on my wall (click to enlarge as per usual) is the exact ages all my boys were when we had Parker. It is my completed family of boys. Chayse~Brodie~Logan~Parker. {and mum and dad of course} Yes Dani that's right I have included a photo of myself this time!! This wall makes me smile everytime I walk in and look at it.It's my little bit of happy. It' s hard though when my gorgeous friend Cassie is a photographer and keeps twisting my arm to take more shots. Yes we are booked in for a family photo in September.

But for now these are Logan and mums snap shots on a very early morn. He is my budding photographer!!

MY TIGER So the school rings to tell me that Brodie has a scratch and can they apply some Betadine to it. No problems I say that's fine, no big deal. 10 minutes later, phone rings again. "I think you should come up here as he's quite upset saying it's stinging" Wake the other two boys and off we set. I nearly died when I saw this "scratch". He looked like he'd been attacked by a tiger. Brod just burst into tears when I got there and said he'd run into a tree playing chasey. The cut across the throat was quiet deep so he was really lucky. I think some tree branches at the school might need cutting back though!

ANOTHER REASON TO LOVE HIM I have a very talented hubby really. He made us all hardwood beds, paved all our outdoor area, built the boys tree house and lately just finished my court yard wall. We have a weird design in our house. You may have notice that the middle of our house is an opened court yard. I love the fact that I have a house with a full square of tiled area running around the middle. I call it my walking track as stupid as it sounds but yes I really do walk around it. Hey when you have 4 little kids and can't walk on a busy road with them all what's a girl to do. They'd watch their tv show while mum did laps around with her music on. Well talented hubby has just finished stone bricks on one wall as a feature and I love it. Now I just have to get my handy brothers here as they do rendering and painting then I won't have blue walls outside anymore.

SMILES {FOR HOLIDAYS} We had a nice few days away with lots of smiley moments. Just getting away for a few days the boys think they've been on some huge holiday. SMILES for family time, SMILES for Disney on Ice, SMILES for Luna Park {even if there were too many people there, note to self: don't attempt that one again on school holidays} and SMILES for great accomodation and spa baths.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY BOY {but that smile doesn't fool me} The baby of the family turned 3 today. Mum of course was hoping for instant overnight cure of tantrums. No such luck as Master Parker let me know. He started off the day with a beauty and ended with another after his brothers were picked up from school because he wanted to get out of his car seat. Oh boy !!! We have a love hate relationship at the moment. It can only get better. I've always said the 2's were nothing on the 3's but Parker managed to push the limits during his 2nd year and looks like continuing. Fingers crossed he loves me by 4. Happy Birthday gorgeous Boy. {and please treat your mumma well as you'll always be my baby}. XXX Gotta go and play Tickle Monster to a certain 3 year old who thinks he's sneaking up on mum!!

{Stealing mums cakes after my bath. Thought no one was watching}

AREN'T BIG BROTHERS THE BEST... Being an eldest child myself I'm rather mothering to my younger brothers. I can now see Chayse delighting in being the one the others run to. Wether it's Logan wanting to play, Parker racing to Chayse for protection after his bath so mum won't put his pyjamas on or Brodie just being the usual side kick. It does warm my heart to see them close.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DREAM COME TRUE

Sunday the 6th of July was my eldests 8th Birthday.Chayse Alan-John (AJ after his 2 pops). We've been away for a wonderful family break to celebrate hence this post is late.

My Dearest Chayse,

You are my everything! You will never know the love you bought to my life. After years of IVF and many tears your father and I had virtually given up and were so over the roller coaster road. We didn't know what else to do. We only knew we wanted you. We woke up one morning in Penang on a holiday, looked at each other and just cried. No words were needed, we were

exhasted from wanting a baby.

After many more attempts one day I had the surprise of my life. I was expecting and found out just before I had to be at work. I waited all day to tell your dad. I wrapped up a babies bib that said "I LOVE DADDY." Your dad cried and smiled sooooo much when he realise. I will never forget it.The pure joy and excitement we had can't be put into words. We had never been happier than on that day (of course until we met you.) You amaze me, inspire me and dazzle me daily. You are the most kind hearted child who would give away anything to make others happy and go without yourself.

I'm so proud to be your mum and know that you will grow to be the most beautiful person because of your generous nature.

Thank you honey for making my life what it is those 8 years ago.

See I told you that night you were so special and that you were going to have a wonderful life.

Happy Birthday my sweet darling heart and dads AJ.

We love you bigger than the world

Love mum XXX

FOR THE LOVE OF THOSE CUDDLES AND KISSES Isn't it sad when the baby of the family needs to be treated like an older child as much as us mums want them to stay cute and cuddly. I'm finding myself taking so many more photos of Parker while he's at that stage. I guess I just want to hold onto it forever when I should be moving to the next stage. You'd think I'd be happy about no more nappies and baby stages but it's actually {almost} sad. {and no that doesn't make me want to go and have a 5th}......

Cuddles for Logan

and Kisses for Mum.

THE JOY OF WASHING DIRTY DISHES

What seems like an eternity ago when Logan was in hospital 4 hours away from home I sat next to him with a dream. Many cuddles back when it was him and I toughing it out for months on end I prayed to be able to go home and wash those dirty dishes. My back ached from sitting in that bedside chair, I was incredibly tired and run down and ached every single day to take him home to his brothers. I wanted to do the normal things, like wash the boys dirty dishes. Yes we have a dishwasher but I wanted to stand at the sink and wash.

I did that one weekend. It was the toughest weekend of my life. I needed to cuddle my other boys and have a nights sleep without alarms for medication going off all night. Tough because I left him there and travelled the 4 hours home. I stood and washed those dishes vowing to never take another day for granted. This was a gift that some parents can't do because their children never leave the hospital so they too stay, for the love of their child. I washed my kids clothes, hung it out and appreciated the everyday things with my family.

Looking back Logan was so sick when I returned I still feel guilty leaving for that night. His little body was full of infections and he had to have a line put straight to his heart because they'd used every other vein for drips. He was on 7 different antibiotics. We almost lost him but he battled through it all. Today he bought me his usual handful of flowers and I did the dishes and loved life.

Thanks Logan, "Love you bigger than the world"

ON A PEDESTAL

I love watching (and listening) to the excitement the boys still get when their dad comes home at the end of the day. It's the same at lunch time to. They all run to the door like little puppies yelling "Dads home, dads home"

They love him so and place him on the highest pedestal. Likewise for him I know. He places them before all else and always ALWAYS makes time for whatever they want to do.

BESTest FRIENDS This is Brock, Logans best best friend in life. These two munchkins were destined to be friends even before birth. Brocks mum and I worked together and had our first babies together. Sadly Cassies little boy Jesse was born with Downs Syndrome and she didn't know. He is doing fantastic and is such a credit to her. She is the strongest person I know. Logan and Brock were born at the same time and featured in our local baby page together. Brock takes Logan for who he is and loves him soooo. They are such a delight to watch together. They race to each other and just cuddle and giggle like little girls when in each others company. Cassie called in yesterday and we found them snuggled on the couch together so of course I had to get the camera out.

may you find the little paths bright with birdsong, hedged with flowers that others never see.

Happy Birthday To You (and those pearly white teeth)

Last night after Brodie hastily brushed his teeth we told him to go back and do them properly. I mentioned to him that on the Oprah show (so it's gospel) that you should brush your teeth for as long as it would take you to sing the song Happy Birthday. That was fine, so once we cleared up that you need to brush for about that long he decided he'd go and do them again. Corey and I were in the kitchen when we hear a muffled Happy Birthday to me while brushing his teeth. Next minute Logan started his verse. We laughed so much at what we were hearing. They obviously don't know how to sing in their head yet!!! What a treasure you are Brodie.

HE HAD THAT WINNING FEELING (Little smarty pants)

Best mates Chris, Brodie and Joel

For many weeks now we've all listened to Brodie explain to us how he was going to win the cross country, how he would pace himself and how he'd sprint to the finish. He's told us how the grade two kids at school talk about him and say "man that kids quick". We of course have spent many a night saying don't be too cocky someone out there will beat you. We tried to put him in his place as he oozes with confidence. You see Brodie is so confident that I am scared of the things he thinks he can do as he gets older. He's one of those kids that everything comes naturally and nothing is to hard. He even wants to do more and more homework everynight. BUT he does hate being beaten at anything and can turn the tears on instantly to make you feel sorry for him.

Well he tries to achieve that.

He was bragging so much the other night while having a turn on the X box game that Corey got on and beat him 3 times in a row. On purpose we all congratulated Dad that he'd won and Brodie came second. The arguements came left right and centre and Brodie had an excuse for every game he lost. Corey and I were laughing so much about it in the end Brodie stormed off in tears half trying not to laugh knowing he'd been beaten. Well he came first place in the schools Cross country (that's him in the blue). Right from the start he lead and I just knew he was going to be winning when they turned that last corner into the parents view. His best mates also got 2nd and 3rd placings.

I must admit I was happy for him as he walked away gracefully and didn't brag. I was also SO VERY PROUD of Chayse though. He always says he's no good at anything and I was so hoping he'd go OK. He finished 20th so we were so happy for him to. Last year he was 36th so that was a big achievement.

He was proud of himself to so that made my day.

RAINY DAYS (few and far between)..........

Well the boys were all ready to go and watch Chayse and Brodie run in the schools cross country when 10 minutes before we were due to leave it started raining. Taking into account that we are in the middle of a long drought they were very excited, especially Parker as I don't think he's seen rain before. "It's naining, it's naining" he says in his squeaking high pitched voice while giggling. They rushed and got their rain coats and beanies and ran outside. Unfortunately there wasn't enough for them to play in and it turned bitterly cold. Hence the cross country was cancelled, much to Brodies dismay. He's so looking forward to it.

ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE

Tomorrow Corey and I will visit the special school for their open day. We had another meeting with the regions school psychologist and he feels Logan would be better off there instead of mainstream. He said you have to take into account that he has a bowel disease, severe speech delay and is developmentally behind. He told us it only takes one child to tease him and it will send him further backwards. I spoke with him for nearly 2 hours and totally agreed with every scenario he went through but I still have a pit in my stomach. My head says it's best for Logan but my heart is saying no.

That's not my son.

I want my four boys to be at school for that mothers day photo.

I can't just go and have lunch with 3.

I have 4. I don't want him to be different to his brothers.

Won't that be worse for him knowing he's segregated??? I wish I had an easy answer.

But. I. Don't.

I hope tomorrow helps me to decide but dread telling him. He's ment to start the 6 week kinder transition to primary school in 2 weeks. How can I take that away from him and say you can't go to that school now???

The Awesome Foursome

I wish you things to catch your heart in beauty, in joy and in amazement.

Things that will make you shout with laughter and stir you to excitment.

Have fun. Enjoy what lies ahead......Be brave. Be curious. Be courteous.

Discover a wider world.

I wish you the joy of always having someone to share things with.

" Love you bigger than the world"

(Ooohh Parker)

(Even in My Dreams)

you were Perfect,

Even when I sleep your still worth it.

Love that song by Vanessa Amorosi.

Last night was a milestone. It was the very first, yes that's right the first night I've been able to sleep through without one of the boys waking me for something. It's been almost 8 years since that's happened. With 4 boys one is either having a nightmare, going to the toilet, or just being Parker asking for a cuddle 5 times a night. Don't get me wrong he's fine once we tell him it's still sleep time and he asks for "carry" to which I say no your too big to carry or "hand" and we lead him back to his bed. He jumps straight in and goes back to sleep instantly but I'm then wide AWAKE !!!

To tell you the truth for some reason I feel incredibly tired this afternoon. Maybe it was too much sleep for me. After all 5 or 6 hours sleep has been the norm for so long.

Note : actually I can't even focus on this with Parker trying to squeeze my face together with his baby hands and whispering "IwuvYou"

Time to sign off as he's now insisting on "Wizees Mum" (he likes sitting on my knee while I swing the chair around.)

80 cents HITS THE HEARTSTRINGS As a mum of four boys I am very big on the boys learning that it's good to give. Too me personally Mothers Day means more than my birthday. I guess it's because it's a day made to spend with my kids and being that my birthday is on New Years Day it's a can't be bothered day. Besides no restaurants ever open that day so we can go out for tea etc. Yesterday was the yearly event where the boys take their pocket money to school and buy the mums a gift from their stall. The boys were super excited and spent so long wrapping their gifts (in Harry Potter paper). After they were done Chayse came and showed me his parcel then gave it a little shake. I could hear coins and he said " I've included something extra this year. I put in 80 cents of my pocket money so you can go out and spoil yourself. I want you to buy something really special for yourself" Tug Tug the heartstrings were pulling. I had accomplished my job. He has appreciation. (smile) Chayse is such a generous boy. He's always making sure everyone else has things before him, even if there were only 3 lollies he would go without. As for Brodie. That boy just can't keep a secret. "You really need some new shampoo, don't you mum?. Maybe in a blue bottle would be nice. Why don't you wait and see if anybody gives you some in a big bottle on Mothers Day before you go and buy it " he says holding a large wrapped bottle in front of me.

Inspired by the Superprincess

After seeing the gorgeous Superprincess series I sent a challenge to Mandy and Kate at Belle and Boo. I wanted a picture of my 4 boys in their treehouse. When it arrived in the mail I was beyond words. It was exactly what I wanted.I had all the boys wearing their favorite colored tee shirts. Logan of course always runs outside with just his top and yellow boots and picks me a bunch of the yellow daisies every morning. Chayse is always climbing the tree or flying around in his cape and Brodie is always being adventurous with binoculars, telescope or something. Parker is on the slide with our new puppy Sascha and our Kitty is hiding behind the tree. The colours were exact. It even has the Magpie that visits us every so often. Mandy you are amazing. A Zillion thank yous.

Treehouse Treasures

THE ENCHANTING MR P. Master Parker was declaring this morning that he wanted a bickie. After saying no you've just finished breakfast I hear him spill something on the floor. "Bickie for kitty" he said as I looked at the cat biscuits on the floor. One by one he picked them all up only to run outside with the box and do it again. Well it certainly kept him busy for a while. "Here's bickies kitty" he says in his high pitched babble, putting one in the box and giving one to the kitten. I have been so busy listing on ebay I simply couldn't deny my kids any more mum time so the posting has had to wait. I know I'm slack aren't I.... Corey and I went to the Rouge Traders the other night. Wow can that girl sing. It was great for an oldie like me as she did a lot from INXS, Noiseworks and even Sinead O'Connor. A must if they come to your town.

OLD FRIENDS ARE THE BEST ONES (ever) We have had the nicest long weekend with our best and favorite friends visiting. My hubby had two best mates at school, Shannon and Damien. They were here with their beautiful wives Vikki (my sister in another lifetime) and Katrina. Put the three families together and hey presto we have NINE boys. (not a single girl, which my boys absolutely delight in.) Brodie said to me last night. I wish they could be our friends forever.... When I told him they could he wanted to know why they had to leave then. We had such a nice day Friday. All the boys played great together. The dads ran them out with a game or two of dodge ball and then watched the football match while us girls ate scones and chatted and ate and....(yeah that's enough of that part)We left the kids with the grandparents and went to the nicest restaurant. Well if you can call it that. It was Thai food and we sat outside in our own bali hut. It was amazing, as if no one else was there. The chairs were so big they looked like kings thrones. Shannon was so comfortable by the end of the night he was laying down on his cushions. The food...OMG, devine. delicious, superb.!!!!!!!!!! Old friends really are the best. It was so nice to sit and talk, child free. I'm not so sure that the guys will ever really mature though. They still giggled like little school girls about past events in our lives. MEN !!!!

Enough for our own Soccer team

Shannon, Damien and my best boy Corey Shannon in relax mode King Corey And sleeping boys (that actually weren't asleep when we got home. Luckily it didn't take them long to realise they were tired.) As usual Parker had to sneak into bed with one of his brothers. This time it was Brodies turn.

I must also make special mention to Elise (my god sent angel) for helping me work out links. How simple things are when someone shows you the easy way. A million thank yous to... lets see if this works now..... Elise.

I'VE BEEN TAGGED BY TANYA Link the person who tagged you

Mention the rules on your blog Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours Tag 6 fellow bloggers by linking them Leave a comment on each of the tagged bloggers blogs letting them know they have been tagged. My quirks... 1. I have to have everything in it's special place, especially if I know we are having company over. I have to have my own time out in my shower every night. It's my relaxation after the dramas of 4 boys all day. 2. I love to spent a day bargain hunting and even buy things in advance to put away for the boys for Xmas. Just things I know they would absolutely love. 3. I really am a home body though. I hate going out when it's cold and would rather stay home with a good movie, chocolate (of course) and my hubby. 4. I have to have all the kids uniforms out on their bed and semi know what I am wearing the next day in order to be ready on time.I absolutely hate to be late for an appointment. 5. I have to have my own time out and in the shower every night to start to wind down from my busy day with 4 boys. It is my relaxation. 6. I can't be late. I hate it.

OMG you don't want to know how much time I've spent trying to get this link thing figured out. If you can't tell I'm new to all this. As it is I don't think all my links worked. Any advice welcomed please. I could get some names underlined for a link when I hit enter but not all. I couldn't figure out how just to add the blogs name as a link as you did Tanya.How dumb am I ??????????????? I also had trouble the other day when trying to take a photo from a blog onto my own. How do you do that???? Please please please help a person in distress.

I am tagging:

e and t

mollyalexis

shannon

joel and amy

suej

dani

danielle

MIXED EMOTIONS Well I still don't know how I feel. It's been a mixed few days. We basically found out that Logan doesn't have Autism he has what they call Global Development Delay. Basically he turned 5 back in February but he is really only at he development and intellect of a 3 year old. I was thankful that he doesn't have Autism but really as the doctors explained it doesn't really matter if he has that label or not as he has the same issues and challenges for some reason. It wouldn't have changed anything. They don't even know why he was born like this or how it's happened. We now have to decide what to do about school next year. If I make him repeat kinder he would be 7 starting Preps. That's nearly 2 years older than everyone else. They said to me that we have to think in terms of "would you send a 3 year old to school". I was going to have a look at the Specialist school today as they recommended but I just couldn't get myself there for some reason. I think it was the dream of having all the the boys at the same school. It breaks my heart to single him out as different.But reality is Logan is different.His bowel disease is giving him real trouble at the moment. He had three dirty pairs of pants this morning between 8 and 8.30. The older boys just got to school before the bell as we had to go and change him again once we were all in the car ready to go. When I picked him up at kinder they said they had a bad day with 5 changes there....... What to do. I just don't know. I know I have to do what's best for him and accept it but it still hurts. He looks normal and people all ready look at me and him with his behaviours and I feel so judged. If only they knew..... Logan was put here with me to teach me not to judge anyone as we just don't know what they've been through in their lives. Just don't judge. I thank him for that every day. "Love you bigger than the world Logan"

TWIDDLING THUMBS (WAITING) Firstly thank you so much for all you thoughts for Logan. I really appreciate them. It's nice to know he is cared about as Autism is one of those things when people look at your child and see that nothing looks wrong but behind closed doors there behaviour can be very abnormal. Thanks again Sue for your help and Emma we are going one day (Definitely). Well the day was different to what I'd imagined. Basically Corey and I were lead one way with a paediatrician doctor while Logan was lead the other by a couple of others. We answered question after question for over 2 hours with every detail being documented. Logan played games and was asessed. When we finished we were told the doctors were all going to have a meeting to discus their findings and would ring us Monday to let us know what they thought. So we will twiddle our thumbs till then as they gave nothing away as to which way it would go. On a lighter note Brodie burst into the house today with a big grin saying he'd finally lost his first tooth. (he's been waiting for over 12 months as Chayse has lost so many). He held up this tooth, smiled and quickly walked away. I called him back and said show me the hole in your mouth. He grinned mouth closed then just held the tooth up again. It was about four times the size of a normal tooth with the biggest roots I've ever seen. He headed up to his room saying he was putting it under his pillow for the tooth fairy to bring him money when Chayse burst in saying it's a sheeps tooth. YUUUUKKKK. Get it out, wash your hands..... He'd been in the vacant paddock next door and discovered it thinking he had a wonderful plan. OOhhh boys... !!!!!!!!!!!!.............

BRODIE

TOMORROW 'S THE BIG DAY

We've waited over 18 months for it to be our turn for an appointment and it's finally here tomorrow. We will travel to Bendigo for Logan to have the full 3 hour assessment for Autism.

It's a day I've been dreading and a day I've been desperately longing to come to get answers.

When Logan was 1 and a half we started seeking answers to his behaviours to no avail. We had to go on a waiting list for over 2 years for speech therapy as there were no services able to accommodate us. We are finally getting things rolling.

I just want to know does he have it or is it something else. Two paediatricians at the Royal childrens have assessed him and said they feel he has so this is the big one now. A team of 7 doctors, speeachies and psyhcs etc. It will be a long day for him but we need to know where we are headed for schooling reasons.

I'm so anxious. Do I want to hear Your son does have Autism or do I want to hear no we don't think so. Either way Corey and I feel something is so very different to the other boys and just want help.

We'll still love you bigger than the world Logie.

A fun day out until Logan's sleeve got a dot of water on it then the tantrums set in All fixed and even mum didn't care in the end if I looked like an idiot with my coat sleeve rolled up so it wouldn't touch the jumper. See such a happy boy now we made it through that one, (thank goodness)

(wish me luck, no maybe love as it will get us through.)

Chayse my full time worry wart.

WHEN WILL YOU MAKE ME LEAVE HOME?????

(I only want to take one thing with me)

Chayse approached me in the bathroom this morning and asked me "what age will I be an adult ? "

I replied "when you are 18"

"Ohh" he said "so I'II have to leave home by then and get my own home won't I. Well how long away is 18 ? Sascha won't be very old then will she?"

"No silly " I said. "you can stay here as long as you like love" We're not going to kick you out. You'll just want to go one day and find your own house. (well let me get through the teenage years first then we'll re-evaluate that comment)

"Mmm Hmmm" he said still looking down. "Well who gets to take the dog with them when they go?"

Aahh now this conversation is beginning to make sense...... See I told you she has control of him!!!!!!

I had to say "well maybe you'll all have your own dog by then" (no way known I'm having more than one dog at a time) "and you can all take one each with you."

Please please please let children forget everything we say as I really didn't mean that. it's just to keep him happy. I can't ever imagine an empty, quiet house again. I don't suppose it ever really will be.

a boy obsessed with a girl !!!!!!!!!!!! , waiting at the window......

SASCHA

( this one's for you Emma)

The only female companion in my house and she still sides with the boys. This is our puppy Sascha. Well to us she's still a puppy even though she's 6 months old. She has been trained in that time though so that was a plus. The boys got her on the Easter weekend and love her to bits. Chayse is actually becoming quiet obsessed with her. First female in his life and she already rules him Hmmmm. He sleeps sitting up and waits for her to come to his window at night. It's getting quiet bad. The boys are getting up early and getting through breakfast and making beds etc super fast to go out and play with her before school. See I've lost them already to a female. Ugghhh...........

10 Things (about me)

1. My husband was my partner for my deb ball when we were both 16. We're now 35.
2. We actually have a photo of us at kindergarten. He is standing directly behind me. We went to the same primary school but different secondary schools. We only met up when my family shifted to the same street as him and shared a 2 hour trip home from uni. on weekends.
3. I am secretly jealous of my girlfriends that have a daughter to share their lives with.
4. I am so scared of bringing up four boys once they get into pubs and cars etc. I dread it. I also secretly hope they bring gorgoeus daughter-in laws to our family.
5. My boys and I are extemely close with our cuddles and "I love you bigger than the world" 's. It goes a bit overboard sometimes and I wonder whether I'm making them too much of a Mummys boy with all the affection.
6. I once "pinched" a pregnancy test for a girl I was working with in the pharmacy as she was so fearful she was pregnant. I went and opened a preg, test kit and she snuck to the toilet to do it. She wasn't pregnant and we didn't pay for it. SCANDAL........
7. My best friend and I once took a dare from our boyfriends in the dark of the night. We went skinny dipping in the river. It was pitch black but we didn't count on the local train going past once we had stripped off. As you would imagine the guys nicked off with our clothes. ( we were stupid, young and 18)
8. That same best friend of mine went on to marry my husbands best mate and now they have 4 sons like us, same age as ours and both of our 4 th boys have a hand deformity ( both on the right hand). See we were bought together for a reason.
9. I eat too much , could live on pasta and chocolate and keep thinking that I need to change my lifestyle more. This is the year !!!!!
10. Now that I have only sons I treasure my friendships with my girlfriends ever so much more than I used to.

TOUGH MORNING It's tough waking up in a great mood to doubt yourself half an hour later, It's tough watching my little Logan wander out of bed , head down and pouting sadly, It's tough knowing that he only ever wants weetbix for breaky and then he cries about it for an hour. It's tough that crying turns into him screaming because there's not enough milk, or it's not stirred right, It's tough watching him quickly stirring it for 20 minutes to try to make it somehow better, It's tough that the other kids say "it's too loud, when will he stop yelling"

It's tough that I want so much to say "snap out of it",

It's tough that he just does all of a sudden like it never happened

It's tough that some days I want to fall in a heap and just cry, It's tough and it's not fair that he got both Autism and Hirschsprungs Disease (but yet he looks so normal.)

My beautiful, kind hearted, fragile but ever so gentle Logan.

"I LOVE YOU BIGGER THAN THE WORLD"

(By the way it's actually Monday morning, first morning back at school, and I've no idea why my blog says Sunday.)

A SPECIAL MOMENT

Not long after my forth son was born I was chatting to a dear friend of mine who has raised 3 boys of her own. My concern was how would I manage with 4 boys once the fights and wrestles begin. She said "ohh boys are easy. They're fighting each other one minute then best of friends the next. Brothers don't seem to carry things on, It's forgotten very quickly." I listenened intently hoping she was right. It wasn't until today I thought back to our conversation. I'd had an awful morning with Chayse and Brodie chasing each other around the yard and yelling at each other. I was thinking thank god it's the last day of school holidays. Mid afternoon I happened to be sitting outside in the sun taking photos of Logan and his new kitten when I heard Chayse and Brodie talking to each other. I peered around the corner to see them hugging each other and Chayse said "I love you" then to my amazement Brodie follows on with"I love you too". They didn't know I was there so I started clicking away with such joy in my heart. Once they saw me they were happy to pose for a moment together (very rare in itself). We had a lovely afternoon together so I treated them to a happy meal from McDonalds. I was thinking back to yesterday when I was watching Oprah and this group of brothers were all hugging for some reason. I'd made a comment to the boys who were bored and sitting with me that I love when brothers hug like that. They both said we'll do that for you tomorrow mum and I thought nothing more of it. I just laughed it off. Maybe they remembered. It was lovely anyway.