Wednesday, 23 April 2008

MIXED EMOTIONS Well I still don't know how I feel. It's been a mixed few days. We basically found out that Logan doesn't have Autism he has what they call Global Development Delay. Basically he turned 5 back in February but he is really only at he development and intellect of a 3 year old. I was thankful that he doesn't have Autism but really as the doctors explained it doesn't really matter if he has that label or not as he has the same issues and challenges for some reason. It wouldn't have changed anything. They don't even know why he was born like this or how it's happened. We now have to decide what to do about school next year. If I make him repeat kinder he would be 7 starting Preps. That's nearly 2 years older than everyone else. They said to me that we have to think in terms of "would you send a 3 year old to school". I was going to have a look at the Specialist school today as they recommended but I just couldn't get myself there for some reason. I think it was the dream of having all the the boys at the same school. It breaks my heart to single him out as different.But reality is Logan is different.His bowel disease is giving him real trouble at the moment. He had three dirty pairs of pants this morning between 8 and 8.30. The older boys just got to school before the bell as we had to go and change him again once we were all in the car ready to go. When I picked him up at kinder they said they had a bad day with 5 changes there....... What to do. I just don't know. I know I have to do what's best for him and accept it but it still hurts. He looks normal and people all ready look at me and him with his behaviours and I feel so judged. If only they knew..... Logan was put here with me to teach me not to judge anyone as we just don't know what they've been through in their lives. Just don't judge. I thank him for that every day. "Love you bigger than the world Logan"

18 comments:

Emma-Kate Castricum said...

Oh Kris, I forgot to ask Vik today what the outcome was.
Now I know.

Yep, it's a tough one for you to deal with.
Don't EVER let anyone make you feel judged. you do what's best for you and your boy's and if you ever receive strange looks, stare back at them and ask say 'can I help you?' That ought to scare the sticky noses away. Nobody knows what your going through and you don't deserve meddling people.

As for schooling, do you have to make a decision straight away?

Have a great time this weekend with your catch up, your deserve it.

Em

Elise said...

Kristen

It's so sad that people are so quick to judge, if only they knew the half of it.

Are there any scools in your area that have a middle school philosophy, where they teach according to ability and not age? Any schools that specialise in catering to the individual? Would you ever consider homeschooling? I hope I have not been too forward in making any of these suggestions.

I will now pray that you can make a decsion that sees Logan and your family at peace and content with your decision.

Sending you hugs
Elise

Elise said...

Kristen

I also wanted to let you know that I have just awarded you the "You Make My Day Award". Come and see via my blog.

Amy said...

Kristen:

What a difficult situation. I know you must have your hands full with all your boys! I bet if you give yourself sometime to decide about school, then an answer will become clear to you. That usually works for me. Out of the blue I just suddenly feel strongly about a decision and that is the one I go toward. Best Wishes!

Amy (Missouri-US)

Pregnantly Plump said...

I'm so sorry. I know it has to be so confusing right now. Hopefully you won't have to make a schooling decision too quickly, and can have time to let everything settle in. Good luck on that decision!

dani said...

dear kristen,
i don't want to sound too forward either (just trying to help); but, i was wondering about homeschooling as well. that is really a big thing here in the states; and, i know we also have a program, at least in ky, where certain types of therapists (based on need) make house-calls to work with the children, respectively... are those even options in australia???
i know it is a hard decision to make; and my prayers are with you. you are such a wonderful mum; you and logan are blessed to have one another!!!
love and prayers,
dani xx

Bobbi said...

I'm really glad you got a diagnosis finally. I know it's not what you wanted to hear, but he's still the same boy. He is adorable and you are the one who knows him best. I know you will do the best job with him and no one could do it better. I think we all have to get thick skinned when we think about people judging our kids. I just outright tell them what is going on if they are looking at us. Parker won't be going to kindergarten until he is almost 7. I feel bad too because a lot of my friends kids that are Parker's age are starting kindgergarten next year. I guess we just have do what is best for our kids. I will keep your family in my prayers. None of this may matter when he is an adult. I bet with intervention he will do great!

Bobbi said...

Ooops, I guess I can't spell today.

Kiera said...

My heart goes out to you. I so sorry to hear about Logan. I'm happy he has a mother who loves and adores him so. Good luck with your upcoming decsions...

Tabitha said...

I agree totally with what you said about judging people ~ your little boy is just gorgeous and he is lucky to have such a great mother ~ I wish you both well ~ I hope things will work out for you.
Warmest wishes,
Tabitha X

Tanya said...

Logan is such a lucky little boy to have such a wonderful mum!!! I agree with Emma... don't ever let people make you feel judged, as you said... if only they knew!! and besides people shouldn't be so judging!!!!! You will make the right decisions for Logan.. you're his mum, no one knows him better than you do!! Good luck & the warmest wishes Kristen with what ever you decide!! remember to take one step at a time and BREATHE!!!!

Love Tanya xxxx

Sue J said...

Try and remember that while ignorant judgments are hurtful, they are irrelevant - you are doing a wonderful job of providing the best for your darling Logan. Can I just let you know that my youngest daughter was born in April in the week of the cut-off date for school readiness - she could have been 5 3/4 or 4 3/4 when she started, if you know what I mean. I chose to give her an extra year at kinder and she had the most fabulous time, not being the baby of the group, but the more capable one. And she got to run around and just plain have fun without expectations of sitting still and literacy blocks etc when she clearly wasn't ready for that. And you know, she still has a couple of kids in her class who are another 9-12 months older than her (so they must have been around 7 when they started school) - a lot more parents are choosing to hold their children back these days, which means Logan might not necessarily be much, much older than his peers. Anyway, take your time and talk to as many people, including kinder and school staff and other parents for feedback and you will find you get an instinctive decision - trust yourself. You know your Logan better than anyone. If you ever want to chat more about this, just drop me a line sometime...
xxxxx

Georgie said...

I just see a beautiful adorable little boy. No labels, just Logan
xxx

Anonymous said...

Sometimes hopes and dreams change along the way-
I'm not sure what I would do but I think waiting until the "freshness" of the diagnosis wears off to make any choices would be a good thing.
I don't think that reapeating Kinder would be a bad thing- Logan and his classmates probably won't even notice. It's sad that young children don't label- the adults do!
I have faith that things will fall into place.
Keep us posted!

Hollie said...

Kristen -

I can't seem to even get passed the first sentence without deleting it, for fear I'll say the wrong thing.

I feel compelled to tell you this however...

I was born with Spina Bifida, which has left me with deformities in my feet, and other obstacles growing up. The reality for me was that it wasn't always easy, and I did get picked on.

I've always felt that God spent a little extra time and tender loving care on those who were born into this world with health problems from the start - this thought in my heart always helped me get passed the tough days.

You will help Logan through those obstacles, even if it's just to sit and listen to what he has to say on those not so good days. And he will be a wonderful young man because of it.

In my thoughts and prayers.

Tanya said...

You've been tagged go to my blog for details.

Shannon said...

Wow you have had big things happen since I was last here. The responses you have gotten are so inspiring. I feel lifted by the words left here. I know that feeling of not making time to go check out the schools or make the calls you should be making. Especially when programs have waiting list and the longer you don't call the farther down the list you will be. It's overwhelming even when the steps are little. I know that moms are blessed with inspiration when it comes to their kids. You will know what to do for your Logan.

Danielle said...

He has is own plan, his own time frame and his very own gifts for this world. I know you see them and that is what makes you such a good Mummy.

He looks as sweet as honey and I know there must be days where you are out and it all goes arse up but when he is curled up asleep each night he must look just delightful.

Thinking of you.

Dxxxx